That transgender thang
As a Kick Arse Queer Dyke sometimes the cultural gaps between My world and the straight (read heterosexual) world can seem confusing… both for me and the people I meet in My role as a professional Mistress.
To start with the categories and names that gender variant people use to identify themselves in My world differ a lot from most of the terms used in the sex industry. But although the names may differ the people are very much the same.
So in the interests of good communication and a little bit of mind broadening education here are a few musings on the many kinds of transgender expressions present in the world.
In my world of fags, dykes, queers, drag queens, drag kings, butches, high femmes, camp flamers, bears, cubs, sister girls, transwomen, transguys, gender queers, intersex, transmasculine, transfeminine, cross dressing, gender bending, bi-gendered multi flavoured fabulousness….. the main issue is not how or what gender you present yourself as, but in celebrating whatever you feel yourself to be.
Of course the queer world is not perfect! We LGBT people also have our own journeys of learning how to appreciate and respect each other. But most of my life I have lived in close community with people who have changed their gender, or might have a more fluid notion of gender: feeling free for example to present as a burly butch man one minute and the next to be all spangles, high heels and attitude as they strut across the floor as their own special creation.
When I first began working as a professional Mistress I was mystified by the category of ‘Sissy’, especially in terms of enforced feminisation.
In My queer world exploring your gender is a thing to be supported and nurtured, not mocked or forced on anyone. But the longer I observed peoples expressions of desire and the requests they came to me with, the more I began to see how difficult it was for men who are trapped in the narrow confines of ‘heterosexuality’ to fully express themselves.
Very soon ‘sissy’ clients became some of my favourites, not only because there was a similarity to people I know and love in My own community, But because I also have a fetish for a silkily clad body, the glimpse of a satin pantied arse, and the lovely transformation in both energy and dynamic that takes place when dressing a sissy submissive. It’s definitely one of those activities that brings out both My protective and predatory instincts, converting a previously masculine person into their feminine counterpart is guaranteed to have Me be both nurturing and exploitative of that sluttish energy.
It’s my firm belief that if more guys felt more relaxed about cross dressing, wether as a fetish or as an exploration of an aspect of their gender, then the world might be a much happier and healthier place. Sometimes I feel exhausted just watching the amount of work that men put into convincing everyone else how macho/straight/dominant and secure in their masculinity they are. *yawn*
So gender re-education is sort of My little gift to that very stressed sector of society.
In my lifetime I have had relationships with women, men, transwomen, transmen, gender queer people, and refer to myself as a gender queer femme dyke, I like to dress in high heels, I love leather, I often like to be called ‘Sir’. Those of you who are fans of My strap-on videos will be aware that I like to make porn with the lovely transboytom, and that he is a boy who once upon a time was a girl, FTM transgender. A boy with a cunt, yes really. It’s a big wide world out there with all kinds of wonderful people in it, and I’m very happy to be able to help so many of you explore.
note 1: gender is not the same as sex.
It may seem like a new idea to some of you (or not) but a persons gender: wether they name themselves as male, female, or some other kind of gender is NOT dependent on the genitals they have. Some people have surgery or take hormones as part of their transition, some people don’t.
note 2: sexuality is not the same as gender.
Enjoying cross dressing as a fetish does not necessarily mean you are queer!
On the other side of things if you are expressing a yearning to throw caution to the wind, be cross-dressed, tied up and fucked to within an inch of your life, then don’t rule out the possibility that being a bit queer might turn out to be absolutely lovely!
note 3: gender is complex.
Some people transition ‘A to B’: from identifying as one particular gender to it’s ‘opposite’.
Other people move around in their gender expression, they might not identify as any particular gender or they might express a two, three or more different aspects of themselves through different gender identities.