Sense and sensuality

An ‘important information’ announcement: I will be away in Berlin for ALL of July. I am currently taking advance bookings for My return to London in August.

On the subject of lovely things I recently went to visit The V&A lingerie exhibition Undressed, what a curious experience that was. I have to admit that I don’t find time to visit London’s many wonderful galleries and museums as often as I would like, when I do manage to do so I find myself marvelling at the beautiful spaces and the rich cultural array on offer. I visited the The V&A’s ‘Undressed’ exhibition with a friend, who like Myself is a huge fan of lingerie. Those of you who know me can attest that I’m a complete sucker for a nicely fashioned piece of sheer fabric, the silky feel of a well fitted undergarment or the sensuality of a padded and sculpted uplift: whether on my own or someone else’s body.

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 Mini slip, ivory silk satin with machine stitched lace, designed by Janet Reger, Great Britain, 1996. (V&A collection)

As my friend and I approached this exhibition with quite some excitement and enthusiasm I have to say we were both disappointed by what we found there. Offering the promise that we might ‘Discover the fascinating and sometimes controversial story of underwear design from the 18th century to the present day’, we weren’t a difficult audience to entice. But once inside I found that My friend sighed often while walking around the rather unispiringly arranged exhibition. ‘Are you alright?’ I asked her, to which she replied ‘Yes, although I have to admit I was expecting a little more‘. I felt sad for her, if it’s possible she is even more of a lingerie lover than Myself and while the show contained many very finely crafted and historically curious items, the way that the items where displayed did absolutely nothing for them.

There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to the exhibition, none of the ways that could have added a narrative, theme or method of engagement were utulised, in fact the overall design of the show left Me thinking the curator might have a great future ahead of them organising the shop floor of Primark. In addition it seemed that there had been a fear that the general public might become overwhelmed  with lust while contemplating the arousing possibilities of the undergarments on display as all effort had been made to ERASE any sexiness from the show. Sad times!

On a MUCH happier note I see that the feminist pornographer Pandora Blake has won her appeal against ATVOD. Well done Pandora for adding a fierce and intelligent voice to the debate on censorship and what more interesting and fairly produced porn could look like.  You may wish to check out Pandora’s site ‘Dreams of Spanking’.

While we’re on the subject of politics, here’s a link a wonderful TED talk on the laws that sex workers really want

Have a fabulous summer everyone!

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Post Berlin, Hello London.

Screen Shot 2016-04-07 at 19.08.44Wow, I feel like a fictional character in an American baseball movie sliding into ‘Home plate’. London seems a little more gritty than usually, this glorious April weather – sun, rain hail, sun rain, hail – doesn’t really help. Plus there is the pure physics of the equation: what goes up, must come down…. Oh but what a high it was. Stepping into the pre-conference melee I commented to a friend that if this frisson of flirting, sexual energy, nerves, excitement, social jostling, hotness and anticipation could be bottled, it would be an absolute mule kick of a drink. There is no actual drinking going on, the venue is alcohol free,  but let it be said that the buzz running through the space is quite enough: conference is about to begin.

There’s already some very heavy cruising going on, I notice people have been building a set of ‘Glory Hole’ style booths in one of the hallways, there are people making out and generally draping themselves all over each other. Nearly 300 over charged brains and bodies about to indulge in 4 days of workshops and parties. How am I going to survive this? Not exactly being prone to moderation I’ve already made a head start, arriving in Berlin a few days earlier and making a few advance dates to warm up. As usual there are far too many people to say hello to, old friends I only see in these settings once of twice a year, people I met last year or the year before, interesting new faces. What I especially love about conference is the opportunity to be in ‘Top Space’ over the course of several days.

Sure I can feel dominant at any time, but just try that on London public transport, or while enduring a classic English queue, it’s not quite the same. Here, within the bubble of conference it’s very likely that a tangible dominance will be greeted with the openness of exposed tender skin, down cast eyelids, the flutter of lashes, a sweetly proffered neck to bite or a short skirt to slip my hand underneath. The play dates I have for conference were made months in advance, this is often the case, people you meet casually 6 months before often turn out to be playmates at some point. A friend flying in from the States complained about the tendency of conference goers to book dates months in advance, but that’s just how it goes, this is a busy environment, the best things are worth waiting for. My first date is with some one who first asked me to play in July last year, the second came about during a casual face slapping incident during Folsom in September, the third is a group date with a dozen of so close friends, the fourth is where I pick up the pieces and just let myself relax into a pure sadistic blowout.

Some of you will have heard Me talk about how much I enjoy receiving service, simple well crafted personal attention that makes My life easier and builds My energy. The evening before the large group scene I’m about to play My Service submissive arrives, some one I know well and who has a proven track record of providing quietly unobtrusive service of a high standard. They arrive bringing the ingredients to cook Me a light nutritious meal, I hand them a list of household chores I would like done and then go off to take a power nap. Somehow I always sleep more soundly when I know some one is working away elsewhere in the house doing things to make life more comfortable. At a pre-arranged time they wake me with a gentle tap on My boudoir door, on hearing Me grant permission they enter and tell Me my bath awaits. They attend as I bathe, helping me to dry myself and slip into a house robe and then serve Me food. Then they serve as I get ready to go out, painting My toes and finger nails, brushing My Hair. My clothes have been neatly laid out while I was eating and they help me to dress. All of this is done with an air of quiet self containment, dignity and perfect attention to detail and My needs. This is service with done with pride. When I am ready, after they have packed My play bag for the evening and massaged My hands and feet before helping Me put on My shoes, they call Me a cab and escort Me to the venue. This capsule of time packed with the calmest and most nourishing personal care has set the groundwork in allowing Me to fly as a Dominant, never undervalue the people who care for and support you!

That night I went on the play one of the weirdest scenes of My life (and that’s saying something!) ‘The Dolls Tea Party’ has been planned over the past year and brings together a selection of human dolls and their sadistic doll owners from across Europe, resulting in surreal images that are burned into My brain forever. Ask yourself, could you maintain perfect stillness and a fixed gaze as you are transformed, dressed and made up as a perfect feminine doll? Could you withstand the tortures and games that Mistress chooses to subject you to without noise or reaction? How would you deal with being set in poses that amuse Mistress, bent or bent over to Her will? Mmmmmm, doll play, what happy times.

I’m thinking of spending some of the summer time in Berlin and nipping back and forth between London and that other quieter city, so when applying for session time, make sure to do so well in advance.

Berlin! Whoop!

Today I’ve taken My usual rather impressionistic approach to packing: Step one, go out for coffee, read a book you are just beginning to find really interesting, chat to the cafe owner about the terrible rise in property prices around where you live. Step two, get involved in a serious debate on the internet, check instagram, read a few things on twitter, answer any backlog of emails that you might have forgotten about up until now. Step three, finally open a suitcase and just throw some stuff into it. Step four, find that the suitcase is full. Step five, make a list of what essentials you MUST jam into the remaining space.

Clearly some one else should have been doing this job. The good news is that I do have several people doing service for Me while I’m in Berlin, so will be massaged, bathed, escorted to events, have lunch fetched, breakfast cafes researched, My bags carried… all those little bits and pieces which make a pervert holiday extra nice. I seem to have a very stacked schedule while there, but seeings as mostly these appointments are to brutally beat and fuck lovely friends, I shall contain My complaints.

Over the past few days there has been the buzz of people setting off to Berlin from various international locations, old friends from the states I havent seen forever, plus new people I met around this time last year, and am looking forward to getting to know just that little bit better. Having a rather voracious appetite for play, My usual challenge is not to go too far. What is too far? You may well ask. Through prior experience I’ve learned that intense periods of play can bring about a feeling that is a cross between a hangover and having been trampled by a herd of friendly but very heavy soft furry animals. It all depends on how hard you play. I play HARD. So what goes up – experiences endorphin highs, laughs a lot, slaps, kicks and punches their way across the dungeons of Berlin – must also come down. BUGGER. I’m told that if I was going to have learned moderation, it probably would have happened by now.

Anyway, I’m sure some of you will be there to catch Me on the otherside of this current adventure, to entertain Me and give Me a way to unwind sadistically when I return home. In the meantime Im OFF TO BERLIN, back sometime after the 30th. See you then!

 

pre conf blog

Oh by the way, I’ve just started reading the second volume of comedian Alexei Sayle’s biography ‘Thatcher ate my trousers’. I recommend it, and if you’re a banker I’ll even hit you with it a few times, it’s a hard cover.

Mz Jane’s Correctional Facility for men.

It’s a theme I return to over and over again, each time with new insights. Could I ever really tire of the concept, or for that matter the practice? Let Me sketch out the basics for you. Due to the very unjust balance of power in the society we live in: men having FAR too much say and quite the lack, in how to wisely use that say, there is a need for readjustment. Enter: Mz Jane’s Correctional Facility for men! A harsh environment in which a process of re-education and punishment can take place for those who are most in need of correction. Be aware that arrest can come at any time, a man might ‘innocently’ be walking about his business, enjoying the far too liberal and overly subsidised freedom he takes for granted in the world, then find himself suddenly swooped off into custody for questioning. Consider your own life and conduct, might you too stand the possibility of doing serious time in Mz Jane’s Correctional Facility?

My female friends crow with delight whenever I mention the Correctional Facility, ‘Oh my god that sounds so great!’, ‘Tell us more!’, ‘When can we come and join in?’. It seems this story strikes a chord and that my rather beautiful friends, just cannot wait for an opportunity to arise where they might come along and work out some of their frustrations.

What crimes might see you incarcerated in Mz Jane’s custody? You may well ask, the list is extensive. From the obvious, but far too seldom punished crimes of wolf whistling, sexual harassment, taking up too much space on public transport, leering; to those less visible but nonetheless serious intrusions into Women’s comfort and enjoyment of the world. In short, pretty much anything to do with men’s unexamined privilege. You may not be able to see it, but Myself and My beautiful assistants will be more than happy to point it out to you and suggest ways in which you might atone.

Once you have been strip searched, your belongings catalogued and an interrogation completed to gauge your level of awareness of your guilt, then we can truly begin. (Note, that I mention your awareness, that you ARE guilty was never in question.)

There are several ways that you might gain absolution, either by a complete surrender in which you serve as a maid or through what ever cruel and unusual punishments take the prison wardens fancy. I make a FABULOUSLY stern prison warden, although it may be true that I seem to enjoy dishing out the punishments a little too much.

Confinement is a curious thing, I’m never quite sure if the cage is to keep you in, of Me out. There’s something about seeing a man behind bars that does make Me want to taunt him, to coax him to come a little closer and to subject him to My attentions quite forcefully because he has nowhere to run to. The other incredibly tempting thing is to take a prisoner out of his cell and play with him, just as a (large wild) cat might play with it’s prey. Punishment has never been so much fun – especially for Me.

Then I can return My partially corrected prisoner to his cell, so he can ponder the error of his ways and wonder what on earth might happen next….. They say it’s very easy to become institutionalised.

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Escape from New York

Not quite in the tone of the 1981 cult classic but I AM glad to be back in London. It’s lovely and warm (comparatively), I’ve had several very decent cups of coffee since My arrival and London still has one of the best displays of street fashion in the world. I’m also rather looking forward to seeing some of you.

In the meantime a bit of an update on My travels: I’m not much of a tourist, it has to be said I’m more likely to explore off the beaten track and let a city open up to Me in ways more comparable to a ‘psycho-geographic tour‘ than a tour bus. My memories of New York are of the light on a particular day, a relative strangers good manners, and finding incredibly good food in ‘Little Russia’ after walking down to Brighton Beach from Coney Island.

The thing that I found odd about New York was, well, Americans…. there seems to be a language difference. I travel quite a bit, I’m used to spending time with people who are speaking English as a second, third, fourth or fifth language, (mostly it’s only the English who are ignorant enough to only speak one language). The American version of English tho, was something I found incredibly hard to understand: what I mean is, I clearly understood the WORDS being used, I just could not grasp what in the hell was being SAID.

Small talk is pretty much lost on Me, I love intensity, I like to talk about deep subjects, I don’t shy away from delving into personal secrets. If you want to hold a good conversation then please do tell me what you have been reading, what you think about, what your hidden desires are, what you feel passionate about. In NY I got rather tired of hearing the same 20 or so phrases and smilingly delivered pleas for approval, substituted for any kind of real connection. I found the whole charade rather passive aggressive and it gave Me the impression that people were insecure and afraid to say what they really thought. Even worse, that they may be wedged into a culture that drives to simplfy and stupefy it’s population with an overabundance of choices that don’t offer much in the way of content at all.

Having said that I met some lovely people, a Leather Daddy who is a good friend sent their NY boy to act as My guide. I appreciated having someone with impeccable training, showing Me the best way to get to places and offering to escort Me on the way, what a tribute that boy is to their Owner. So after several weeks of blue skies, visits to the ocean, warm company and doing exactly as I pleased, I’m feeling well rested. As ‘the city that never sleeps’ NYC provided a remarkably relaxed entry into 2016. Now I’m ready for adventure.

West Village

 

It’s been a GOOD year!

Before I head off on holiday I wanted to share a broad grin and a big thank you to everyone who has helped make this year such a fun and enjoyable riot through kinkland.

It’s been a pleasure to establish new connections and deepen existing ones. Those of you who’s loyalty, dedication and willingness to explore, has made each session a kinky meditation. Where I too am able to let the outside world slip away and relax into creatively enjoying Myself with you as My plaything.  As some of you will know I have a very visual imagination, so I have many resonant images stored from sessions over the past months. Memories that capture the intensity of those times, the sensuality and intimacy shared.

Alongside this are all of my many adventures outside of sessions, in the dungeons and luxury hotels of Berlin, in private parties held in London, or even encounters outdoors: adrenaline filled and often barely getting away with such stolen moments. 😀

For the next few weeks I will be away, recharging My batteries and discovering a new city: New York!! I’m away until early January, spending time with dear old friends seeing the sights, holidaying and relaxing.

So until next year I wish you good times and much perve happiness and adventuring in the New Year. Still so much more to explore!!

Oh and in case you haven’t already noticed I’ve just started a sub-blog ‘Burning with desire’ for in-session images.

 

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Art exhibitions, BDSM films and getting out and about.

As some of you will know I like to get out and about and go to galleries, shows and films. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing two things lately which i think are of particular interest.

The first was an exhibition of the French photographer Pierre Molinier: Id been aware of his work for ages – his intense self portraits and auto erotic scenes – but had never seen the work ‘in person’. What a treat is was, over 40 original photographs by the artist, I enjoyed the experience so much I went to see the show twice. Here’s a link to the exhibitions archive at Richard Saltoun http://www.richardsaltoun.com/exhibitions/43/overview/

The photographs displayed on the website are lovely, but they don’t really convey the atmospheric beauty and the sensation of both joy and defiance present in the work. Standing in the gallery I kept wondering what it might be like to live with one or more of these pieces day in day out, how that relationship might develop and change over time. These works present a repetition of poses, the artists exhibitionism and erotic experience, performed over a span of 30 years.

One wonders at the mindset of Pierre Molinier: cross dressing in the 1950-70s, in times that certainly did not support sexual or gender exploration. What comes across is the creation of a semi private space in which a very particular relationship with self  and viewer was developed. My personal favourite images were the images of Molinier’s delicate stockinged feet : the ankles bound with rope. So subtle and yet so resonantly erotic, I felt I could have sat with those images forever.

Screen Shot 2015-10-21 at 10.49.52 more images can be viewed here

Also incredibly visually beautiful was the work of Melbourne film maker and erotic adventurer Gala Vanting of Sensate Productions. Her film ‘Love Hard’ made two screenings at the Cinema Museum. The venue alone was worth a visit, I recommend it!

The film was a series of edited ‘highlights’ from longer individual films made with the people featured. Scenes of play, sometimes graphic, sometimes quiet, sometimes abstract, were intercut with ‘talking head’ pieces of the participants expounding on their thoughts, motivations, spiritual discoveries or simple lusts within BDSM.

Probably a little bit too ‘navel gazing’ for my tastes, I tend to enjoy My kink filthy and to celebrate when it is. I’ve thought about it a lot, still ponder things, but there is an acceptance of this being a part of Myself, to the point where I let go of analysis.

It’s a minor criticism, I’m very glad the work exists, for while I might find it a little wordy, thank goodness there ARE such films being produced!

Screen Shot 2015-11-10 at 12.32.23Looking back with more of an ‘eye of distance’ I’d like to watch the film again. I think of how many conversations I have with people about where their BDSM interests may have originated, or in fact the battle to overcome the stigma associated with exploring such desires. As I’m some one who has the luxury of living it, perhaps it’s too easy for Me to be over familiar with kink themes. You can watch the trailer for the film here and also buy ‘Love Hard’ and other titles from Sensate online.

Speaking of getting out and about, I will be away in New York much of December, so I will either see you very soon, or in 2016!! Happy NY Travels!!

Oh My, Berlin!!

Home at last and it’s taken Me AGES to land, I have to say I found it incredibly easy to adapt to the idea that My life consists only of luxury hotel apartments, dressing up, going to parties every night and fitting in daytime assignations with friends when time would allow. Those of you who think this is all My life consists of, well good for you, keep the dream alive!

My mind is full of complex images: the flash of a knife close to bare skin, an open mouth, gasps of pain, ropes drawn taught. I’ve also discovered one or two bruises on My own skin where I’ve had to pause and think ‘How the hell did I do that?’….the perils of being lost in the moment.

Speaking of full flight, on the plane on the way to Berlin I was amazed that our flight was able to take off under the weight of all the leather being worn by it’s occupants. Sandwiched between two rows of older Gay Leather Bears My companion and I exchanged comradely smiles with our fellow travellers. It was clear that we were all heading to the same event, even if belonging to different sub-tribes of the Leather community.

Arriving in Berlin we took a taxi from the airport, it’s a nice way to take in some of the sights as so often when travelling by Uban berlin can feel like a group of barely connected suburbs. The weather was beautiful, crisp sunshine, blue skies an even 20 degrees. Perfect, I could feel My mood improving. Checking into our hotel, the apartment we booked very randomly on the internet turned out to be VAST, featuring an assortment of huge ornately framed mirrors in every room: all the more incentive to walk about naked.

From that point onwards My days consisted of waking up late, seeking out breakfast in the local cafes, then pondering what to wear and exactly what time to arrive at the party. Favourite moments: having a charming person come and do service for Me during the day, easing My preparations and helping me to dress. One particular cell in the ‘Darkside’ club in Mehringdam, I’m sure that’s where I got those bruises, hurting someone very HOT. The pair of wonderful submissives who serenaded Me with Gershwin 😀 and were utterly fabulous massuers, the Femme only party in the penthouse suite of a Berlin hotel, taking a bubble bath with a friend. So.many.incredible.scenes… like walking through the best most beautiful erotic film.

It was exhausting! But I can’t wait to do it again!!

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My next travel destination is NYC, I will be out of London for most of December. So make a note… if you want to play in 2015, you better come and see Me before December 7th.

Fuck the patriarchy – on undermining compulsory heterosexuality.

A short piece on lesbianism, heterosexuality and gender roles. Or: Why I don’t believe in doing what I’m told and why I encourage others to do likewise. (while doing exactly what I tell you to!)

This blog entry has been prompted by some of My online conversations of late, in which I am often deeply moved, (sometimes angry, sometimes sad) and always dissatisfied with the expectations of compulsory heterosexuality.

I know I’ve written about cross dressing, homo conversion and gender exploration elsewhere, but it’s something I never tire of and will talk to just about anyone about, as long at I can pin them down with a sufficiently firm grip. It’s a passion, because it has so often proved to be a subject in which myself and those I meet find a bonding element, a place of understanding and intimacy together.

But first let’s talk about ME.

Growing up I always felt a restless frustration with the roles that seemed on offer to little girls at the time. I have no idea why people speak to children as if they are stupid because by the age of 5 I had definitely decided that traditional gender roles were a huge pile of BULLSHIT and that I wanted no part of it. I mean, what the hell were these ideas that I should be meek and compliant? The promise of growing up to be a glorified obedient domestic slave, eager to please and serve the whims of men? I DON’T THINK SO. No matter how that life was dressed up in the trappings of social acceptability and security, I still found it held no appeal to Me.

From time to time in emails (not that often) I’m asked about the whole Lesbianism thing: My sexuality and My path as a professional Mistress: How do those two things work together? It’s very simple really. I have never been interested in reconciling Myself with the so called natural order of things. A world where heterosexuality often seems to involve men and women play acting their way through the most bizarre parody of gender roles. No, I make no apologies, I can’t take part in that. HOWEVER if a humble supplicant presents them self to Me with an intention to serve, to take direction, to surrender to My Dominance. Why then we might have something to do together. Then a new, far more realistic order can be established, one in which I find Myself comfortable, at ease and relaxed.

I have so many conversations with those of you both online and in person where you also express a frustration with what is advertised as ‘normality’. Let me assure you once again, heterosexuality is a MYTH. You are not alone in your desire to have something else. Explore, there are MANY others like you!! Be brave. If you want to dress up in silky sensuous clothing, then do so! If you wish to explore your more feminine energies, then let’s go! If you see yourself being taken and controlled by a feirce strap-on wearing Mistress, all the better. If you have a curiosity about men but are afraid to try this alone, then ask yourself, can you do as you are told? I assure you I am so very happy to lead the way trampling over the hands of the patriarchy. Let’s begin to unpick and demolish the revolting structures that oppress us all, one pair of panties at a time.

Dear compulsory heterosexuality, I’m making a renewed commitment to undermining you!!!!

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p.s. I will be away in Berlin from September 9th until the 14th, for research purposes. 😉 See you when I get back. 😀

Hot times in Berlin 17th – 20th of July.

Screen Shot 2015-07-14 at 18.27.05Summer of a sort seems to have arrived in London. As soon as the weather reaches 20 degrees my local park is filled with half naked people. I have no complaints, I enjoy the view.

As it’s at least a couple of months since I’ve been to Berlin ,I will be heading over there for the coming weekend: 17th-20th July. Friends of mine are throwing a party and it would be a shame to miss it. The last time I attended this particular party I remember the weather being so sweltering, that as soon as I entered the dungeon, I could feel the humidity building up on my skin.

The place had a sauna like quality, tho with less steam and more people wearing leather, or a mix of bare skin and a variety of fetish outfits items that served to accentuate their nudity.

Some hours later  in that same dungeon sweat was trickling down my back as I gave some one a good hard fucking with my strap-on. It was the kind of filthy hotness where you completely let go. Who cares if the few clothes you are wearing are soaked with sweat and more sweat is dripping off of you onto the belly of the person you have in a sling in front of you. All that really matters is the grin on your face and the intensity of eye contact with the person you are fucking.

Speaking of dampness, I went to see legendary Ska band ‘The Specials’ at Kew Gardens recently. It rained much of the time I was there! Still the band were great and I danced for the whole set anyway. Like I said, London summer, it has a variable quality.

So if it rains while I’m away, think of me in a sweltering hot dungeon in Berlin, working up a sweat. Playing, like dancing is good for the soul!  I look forward to seeing you when I get back.

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