Oh My, Berlin!!

Home at last and it’s taken Me AGES to land, I have to say I found it incredibly easy to adapt to the idea that My life consists only of luxury hotel apartments, dressing up, going to parties every night and fitting in daytime assignations with friends when time would allow. Those of you who think this is all My life consists of, well good for you, keep the dream alive!

My mind is full of complex images: the flash of a knife close to bare skin, an open mouth, gasps of pain, ropes drawn taught. I’ve also discovered one or two bruises on My own skin where I’ve had to pause and think ‘How the hell did I do that?’….the perils of being lost in the moment.

Speaking of full flight, on the plane on the way to Berlin I was amazed that our flight was able to take off under the weight of all the leather being worn by it’s occupants. Sandwiched between two rows of older Gay Leather Bears My companion and I exchanged comradely smiles with our fellow travellers. It was clear that we were all heading to the same event, even if belonging to different sub-tribes of the Leather community.

Arriving in Berlin we took a taxi from the airport, it’s a nice way to take in some of the sights as so often when travelling by Uban berlin can feel like a group of barely connected suburbs. The weather was beautiful, crisp sunshine, blue skies an even 20 degrees. Perfect, I could feel My mood improving. Checking into our hotel, the apartment we booked very randomly on the internet turned out to be VAST, featuring an assortment of huge ornately framed mirrors in every room: all the more incentive to walk about naked.

From that point onwards My days consisted of waking up late, seeking out breakfast in the local cafes, then pondering what to wear and exactly what time to arrive at the party. Favourite moments: having a charming person come and do service for Me during the day, easing My preparations and helping me to dress. One particular cell in the ‘Darkside’ club in Mehringdam, I’m sure that’s where I got those bruises, hurting someone very HOT. The pair of wonderful submissives who serenaded Me with Gershwin 😀 and were utterly fabulous massuers, the Femme only party in the penthouse suite of a Berlin hotel, taking a bubble bath with a friend. So.many.incredible.scenes… like walking through the best most beautiful erotic film.

It was exhausting! But I can’t wait to do it again!!

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My next travel destination is NYC, I will be out of London for most of December. So make a note… if you want to play in 2015, you better come and see Me before December 7th.

Fuck the patriarchy – on undermining compulsory heterosexuality.

A short piece on lesbianism, heterosexuality and gender roles. Or: Why I don’t believe in doing what I’m told and why I encourage others to do likewise. (while doing exactly what I tell you to!)

This blog entry has been prompted by some of My online conversations of late, in which I am often deeply moved, (sometimes angry, sometimes sad) and always dissatisfied with the expectations of compulsory heterosexuality.

I know I’ve written about cross dressing, homo conversion and gender exploration elsewhere, but it’s something I never tire of and will talk to just about anyone about, as long at I can pin them down with a sufficiently firm grip. It’s a passion, because it has so often proved to be a subject in which myself and those I meet find a bonding element, a place of understanding and intimacy together.

But first let’s talk about ME.

Growing up I always felt a restless frustration with the roles that seemed on offer to little girls at the time. I have no idea why people speak to children as if they are stupid because by the age of 5 I had definitely decided that traditional gender roles were a huge pile of BULLSHIT and that I wanted no part of it. I mean, what the hell were these ideas that I should be meek and compliant? The promise of growing up to be a glorified obedient domestic slave, eager to please and serve the whims of men? I DON’T THINK SO. No matter how that life was dressed up in the trappings of social acceptability and security, I still found it held no appeal to Me.

From time to time in emails (not that often) I’m asked about the whole Lesbianism thing: My sexuality and My path as a professional Mistress: How do those two things work together? It’s very simple really. I have never been interested in reconciling Myself with the so called natural order of things. A world where heterosexuality often seems to involve men and women play acting their way through the most bizarre parody of gender roles. No, I make no apologies, I can’t take part in that. HOWEVER if a humble supplicant presents them self to Me with an intention to serve, to take direction, to surrender to My Dominance. Why then we might have something to do together. Then a new, far more realistic order can be established, one in which I find Myself comfortable, at ease and relaxed.

I have so many conversations with those of you both online and in person where you also express a frustration with what is advertised as ‘normality’. Let me assure you once again, heterosexuality is a MYTH. You are not alone in your desire to have something else. Explore, there are MANY others like you!! Be brave. If you want to dress up in silky sensuous clothing, then do so! If you wish to explore your more feminine energies, then let’s go! If you see yourself being taken and controlled by a feirce strap-on wearing Mistress, all the better. If you have a curiosity about men but are afraid to try this alone, then ask yourself, can you do as you are told? I assure you I am so very happy to lead the way trampling over the hands of the patriarchy. Let’s begin to unpick and demolish the revolting structures that oppress us all, one pair of panties at a time.

Dear compulsory heterosexuality, I’m making a renewed commitment to undermining you!!!!

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p.s. I will be away in Berlin from September 9th until the 14th, for research purposes. 😉 See you when I get back. 😀

Hot times in Berlin 17th – 20th of July.

Screen Shot 2015-07-14 at 18.27.05Summer of a sort seems to have arrived in London. As soon as the weather reaches 20 degrees my local park is filled with half naked people. I have no complaints, I enjoy the view.

As it’s at least a couple of months since I’ve been to Berlin ,I will be heading over there for the coming weekend: 17th-20th July. Friends of mine are throwing a party and it would be a shame to miss it. The last time I attended this particular party I remember the weather being so sweltering, that as soon as I entered the dungeon, I could feel the humidity building up on my skin.

The place had a sauna like quality, tho with less steam and more people wearing leather, or a mix of bare skin and a variety of fetish outfits items that served to accentuate their nudity.

Some hours later  in that same dungeon sweat was trickling down my back as I gave some one a good hard fucking with my strap-on. It was the kind of filthy hotness where you completely let go. Who cares if the few clothes you are wearing are soaked with sweat and more sweat is dripping off of you onto the belly of the person you have in a sling in front of you. All that really matters is the grin on your face and the intensity of eye contact with the person you are fucking.

Speaking of dampness, I went to see legendary Ska band ‘The Specials’ at Kew Gardens recently. It rained much of the time I was there! Still the band were great and I danced for the whole set anyway. Like I said, London summer, it has a variable quality.

So if it rains while I’m away, think of me in a sweltering hot dungeon in Berlin, working up a sweat. Playing, like dancing is good for the soul!  I look forward to seeing you when I get back.

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FemDom group play….(tales from Berlin continued)

This was absolutely my favourite play event while I was in Berlin and so unique in it’s set up.

As many of you will know I particularly enjoy scenes with more than two players. There’s an extra thrill in the complexity of how 3 or more people interact: Playing with two subs, or another Domina, or in a hierarchy where some one subs to me but is top to another person in the play. I love how these situations push me to think more creatively and give space for unexpected twists and turns of perversion.

In the past I’ve usually done this with quite a bit of pre-arrangement, knowing everyone involved and their particular interests.

The FemDom play in Berlin was different: 20 Dominants and 25 subs!! That took things to completely another level. People applied to be part of the scene in advance, but didn’t necessarily know each other. Written suggestions and play space rules were sent out by email but there was still a hugely undefined open space of how people would relate.

This wasn’t two, three or even four different people to interact with but an entire room full!!  A large group of people, none of whom I really knew, where we all consented to basic ground rules and then left the rest to on the spot mini negotiations.

My experience was incredibly dynamic, no single focus of play, more shifting centres over the course of a few hours, and lots of fun, friendly, hot people.

To play off various subs against each other, to make them do things to each other for My amusement, to stack up an array of people and move between them, or to have all of them worship Me at once.

Catching the eye of a Dominant close by and saying ‘Would you mind moving the sub you are beating a little closer to where I am sitting so I can reach them with My whip?’. So I could receive a massage, prop My feet up on a piece of human furniture, hit the submissive infront of Me AND add to a nearby submissives pain. Bliss!!

Feeling the energy of playing with one, two or more people for as long as that seemed to be sparking, then asking for something different. Sending people off in the direction of another Domina if I was no longer amused by them, or noticing something interesting happening nearby and going to investigate.

Such a setting demands skill, creativity and excellent communication skills, to make the most of it. I think it could easily have felt overwhelming, but for Me it felt like a wonderful opportunity to really stretch My wings. So.Much.Fun!! (and I was approached by quite a few people afterwards for future play dates 🙂 ). I’m definitely going to make sure to do this again and I absolutely recommend it as a form of organising play. Kudos to the people who hosted this particular event.

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In the wilds of Berlin.

First of all I recommend that if you ever find the English winter is getting you down go to Berlin. The company of 250 Leather Dykes over the Easter weekend has done wonders for My mood!

The weather was still rubbish: got snowed on very lightly for 30 seconds while arriving, then there was a burst of sunshine, then horizontal sleet, then a hail storm, then a burst of sunshine. *repeat on high rotate*

To hell with the weather, it’s Berlin! So enjoyed the sights of the familiar neighbourhood of Kruezberg and settling into My apartment, before heading off to the opening night of the 17th annual SM Dykes Berlin Easter Conference.

Finding the venue was a little tricky, making my way down narrow winding streets and doing combat with an eccentric numbering system. As I entered a courtyard, someone opened a door just ahead of Me and beckoned ‘Wilkommen!’. This must be it! I made My way through the door, ushered in by a very friendly man who I assumed must be trans. (As all events are women and trans inclusive only).

Inside the hall, the event in progress paused for My entrance, people were seated in rows, a buffet was laid out, but there was something unfamiliar about the guests. I couldn’t see any faces I recognised, there was an unusual lack of leather in the other guests outfits and there seemed to be a recital of some sort going on. Oops!! Wrong event. I thanked them for their warm welcome and left to make attempt number two.

In the street I came across a fellow traveller, clad in leather, carrying a tell tale equipment bag, we greeted each other and walked a few steps to the correct venue. Inside was a feast of eye candy, friends old and new dressed in a variety of wonderful out fits as the first party of the weekend go into full swing.

Cruising is a culturally specific phenomena, most well developed heights in the gay men’s scene with all of the complexities of hanky flagging codes and non verbal signals. I have to say it’s one of the things I enjoy in wandering about a new venue: checking out the equipment and checking out who else is there. As I looked around the vast warren of rooms full of everything from medical equipment, bondage suspension frames, every kind of cross, cage, wrestling mat and bench you can think of. I was very much aware of who’s eyes met mine, smiles exchanged, and routes slightly redirected so we would keep on running into each other.

The thrill of the chase, the taste of the hunt. There was certainly plenty to appreciate and I felt no hurry to rush in as there would be at least six parties and several days of workshops to attend in the week ahead. I made a few mental notes about some of the more fascinating creatures present, decided to let them come to me and spent much of the evening chatting with old friends, in between watching some gratuitous and consensual violence.

Biding your time is another form of cruising because at these events the frisson of sexual energy in the room is so intense, with everyone preparing for the very pleasant onslaught ahead, it’s good to take time to relax into the atmosphere. Tomorrow I would play.

…….to be continued

BDSM/FETISH films, ‘The Duke of Burgundy’

There seems to be a rush of films currently screening which make some approach to the subject matter of BDSM.
I’m NOT going to write something about ’50 shades of Grey’, there are plenty of others who have, here’s a good example written by the wonderful Ms Slide if you are interested. I haven’t read the book or seen the film. I just can’t be bothered.

However I did go to see ‘The Duke of Burgundy’, quite a few of my friends were raving about it, one of them went to see it 3 times in quick succession as they so loved the combination of the films aesthetic and the theme. So it was a grey rainy Thursday when I could have been paying attention to admin, but decided instead to go and see a film which promised subject matter both sensually erotic and exploring Dominance and submission.

Watching the opening credits, R18 ‘fetish themed film’ and eating chocolate,  I wondered how many films begin with crediting the clothing and lingerie design, the make up and hair stylist, and the film’s perfume ahead of the cinematographer. Is this usual?

All of ‘The Duke of Burgundy’ in it’s completeness follows the aesthetic of being filmed to look like a mid-European porn film from the 1970’s. Unfortunately for Me it’s not a look I relish. I kept thinking how awful the character Evelyn’s hair looked, plus as a ‘submissive’ character there was something I found immediately irritating about her, that feeling made much more sense as the film played out.

Of course if you love the look – I admit some of the lingerie was gorgeous – the film will be a feast for you. Far more interesting was the subject matter it explored: power dynamics, ego… how often and easily Dominance and submission can become skewed. The struggle between strength of desire and who is calling the shots, the curious paradox of what submission or Dominance might actually entail. Or indeed the story of a co-dependent relationship played out in tight knee high leather boots, stern starched high necked blouses, tight pencil skirts and lush boudoir interiors. Fascinating in many ways and achingly accurate in it’s depiction of such.

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Click image for a link to the trailer
Prior to going to see the film I sent one of My slaves along to write a review, below is slave x’s contribution. Please be aware IT CONTAINS PLOT SPOILERS!!
‘The title is the name of a butterfly and this is the story of two entomologists. It’s lovely to look at in a softly lit, bucolic way It has only two real parts and the two actresses who play them (Chiara D’Anna and Sidse Babette Knudsen, she of ‘Borgen’) are sensational. Evelyn and Cynthia are together in a large old house set in woodland. It’s all very low key, little bare flesh, hardly a moan. Sorry, pain sluts, this film is about real BD, not SM, about dominant submissive role play and about how unsatisfactory topping from the bottom can be. In the opening scene Evelyn cycles up to the house, pulls the bell and waits. After a long pause a stern-faced C opens it and says “You’re late”. She leads E into the first room, sits down and picks up her book. E lowers herself onto a small sofa. “I didn’t say you could sit.” You’ve been there, haven’t you ? Mistress is in a bad mood. You’ve done something wrong. But why does this mistress suggest, just hint at, an uncertainty ? Something about them both does not convince. It’s soon clear that the scenes, this one and the next and the next, are exactly scripted and choreographed down to the last step of the high heel, plus the ‘sub’ has written the script, literally written them on large filing cards, and the ‘domme’ must follow them exactly. You’ll enjoy the all details. The lingerie gets equal billing with the costumes. C has to drink glass after glass of water so that she’s always ready to give E a proper ‘punishment’ for not washing C’s knickers properly. From behind frosted glass you hear, “Lie down. Open your mouth”, then that wonderful sound. Not for everyone of course, but I loved it.

Some nights C puts E into a black wooden chest, binds her with ropes, shuts the lid and locks it. Part of a moth’s Latin name, ‘Pinastri’, is the safe word that will release E. It also sounds close to ‘Be nasty!’, the command that E gives C when they are lie in bed and she wants to be aroused by C’s talk and pleasured with her hand. E may be the one who gets bound and locked in, but it’s C who’s painfully and exactly pinned down like one of their beautiful specimen moths or butterflies, helpless in her need to please. You watch as she becomes ever more dissatisfied, unnoticed by E. When C hurts her back and gets no care, she suddenly flips. She switches into a true domme mode, roles reverse and things start coming apart.

However this is Hollywood, and true love will triumph ! Well, actually it was shot in Hungary with BFI and Film 4 money and written and directed by a British man, Peter Strickland, but the same rule applies. Showing how superb they are, the two actresses repeat the first role playing scene, now as people whose emotions no longer enable them to maintain any pretence, unable to hold to their scripts. The ‘domme’ breaks down in tears followed by her ‘sub’ and they collapse into each other’s arms. Your reviewer gets that choking feeling. Oh, to be a cherished, tortured plaything ! It’s still on at Curzon cinemas, then at the LGBT Film Festival and the NFT. Enjoy !’

Home and ready to play!

Home sweet home, well mostly. The first few days of returning to London’s winter after 6 weeks of high summer, amidst the beauty of mountains, lakes and forests. Well you do the maths!
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Those first mornings arriving home, jet lagged after a long-haul flight had me feeling as if I had been hit all over with a little sticks…. and wondering if I hadn’t somehow slipped over onto the WRONG side of the equation.

Wistful memories of long scenic train journeys, swimming in sunlit lakes and the feeling of just how warm and sweet the air felt on My skin did not compare well to waking up at 6am in the wrong time zone and wondering why the hell it was still dark.

Thankfully my body clock is adjusting and I’m beginning to appreciate the pleasures of living in a big city. I booked myself a massage, had a pampering haircut, went out to breakfast at one of my favourite places and enjoyed the endless stream of weird and wonderful people that streamed by as I ate very good food and sipped a fine coffee.

Yes I adored relaxing deeply, the sound of exotic bird song, incredible vistas before my eyes where ever I looked. But London does have a certain charm and there were things I missed…. What a great city this is if one is looking to experience any of the more refined, stimulating and debauched pleasures that life has to offer, with all kinds of playmates willing to take part. Ah, YES there are definitely things I missed!! Variety IS after all the spice of life and I’m looking forward to some dark and delightful adventures with all of you soon!!

On Holiday

A little note to let you all know I’m on holiday for ALL of January and a bit of Feb. Doing my best not to get sunburnt. Enjoying breathing in the sweetest air. Relaxing, kicking back big time and SO enjoying the warmth.

Winter is totally overrated. I do love London and I don’t think I could cope long term outside of a big city but for now I’m enjoying being in nature, wonderful veiws and the soundest of long slumbers in peace and quiet.

I MIGHT drop by webcam very occasionally, that’s a complete MAYBE. Sometimes I find myself in a spot with amazing internet speed and the urge to log on grabs me.

Anyhow, now you know where I am…..

Happy New Year to you all and look forward to seeing you when I get back to London.

Mz Jane

Visiting the Wellcome Collection – Sexology and all that jazz

It’s good to be back in London! I love to travel but Vienna is a rather conservative place, after a while it begins to feel oppressive. The ‘tuts’ of Austrian matrons are not difficult to provoke, it’s as easy as applying lipstick in the morning or wearing something more daring than a beige twinset.

Arriving home to London’s gritty chaos I’ve been catching up with friends and indulging in the simple day to day pleasures this city has to offer. Last week I headed off to the Wellcome Collection to check out ‘The Institute of Sexology’ exhibition. Naturally enough one of Vienna’s most famous figures Dr Freud was featured.

What I didn’t expect when entering the exhibition was to the overwhelming sense of how violent the control of sexual expression has been. Odd really as how repressed sexuality has been (and still often is) as this is so screamingly obvious. It might be something to do with not being able to see the wood for the trees (no pun intended), the luxury I have in spending a lot of time freeing other people from their repressed states and having fun exploring.

Many cases of Victorian horror objects, Nazi book burnings and documentation of early sexological research later, the rest of the exhibition deals with more hopeful topics. Particularly wonderful are the large format photographs of people posing at home, with their DIY fucking machines. These images are a sweet reminder of how people do persist in finding ways to enjoy sex!

My favourite piece in the show is a video work by the Artist Neil Bartlett which presents a parody of Section 28 – the artist denies being gay and then his ‘students’ tell mock revelatory stories of how because of Neil’s influence they have all become lesbians. A Hilarious satirical handling of the issue.

The show ends on an up note with Trans vengers a project that showcases young peoples visions of gender identity smashing through any notion of ‘man/woman’, sure to bring a smile to even the most serious faces….. and my there were a LOT of serious faces as people walked around the collection. Phew!

Going to go and buy a new inflatable gag and a cock cage now, funny how the remnants of repression become refashioned into fetish items isn’t it.


Home again perverts!!!

Wow, it’s been a wild ride the past few weeks travelling through beautiful Vienna, meeting sweet kinksters and then taking the long way home Via Berlin. Great to see old friends there, many intense conversations were had in unique little coffee houses and I ate a lot of cake.

Back home and in the mood to play I set off to London Alternative Market today, more tea and cake with friends as well as a picking up a beautifully crafted new whip. I just could not resist the smell of well cared for leather, plus you can tell when an item has been made with love and is guaranteed to bring good times.

Went to a rather ODD workshop, the topic was ‘Subspace’, not something I’ve seen offered as a workshop topic often so I decided to check it out. We heard a bit about what subspace feels like from individual perspectives and why its important, plus a brief skim over the science behind those physiological changes.

Downhill from there unfortunately. Boring but true I HAVE often gone to workshops where someone in the audience thinks THEY know all.about.the.topic.at.hand, deciding it is a great idea to interrupt the workshop presenters at every opportunity to enlighten us all. A note to all those (usually ‘king of the universe’ style male dominants) you are BORING, your rudeness makes you look like an ARSE.

An important discussion began on the need to respect and stick to pre-negotiated limits in a scene as very deep subspace could lead to impaired judgement. One of the workshop presenters gave the example ‘If for instance you’ve just given a 45 minute spanking and then decide to go in with a cane and that hasn’t been pre-negotiated, well that would be wrong.’ This time the polite interruption from the audience come from a person who actually knew what they were talking about: ‘Um, excuse me, I think it’s more accurate to say that not only is that wrong but it’s ASSAULT’. True dat!!!

Weird, weird waffling from the presenter about grey areas, the importance of the bottom having good boundaries (even apparently if they are a mile high on endorphins) and how everyone is responsible. Looks like they undermined the point of their own workshop there. I have no time for fools and decided to leave at that point. A note to all players, check out those you play with carefully, playing with the IDEA of non-consent can be fun IF that’s negotiated, but a trustworthy partner WILL respect the previously agree upon limits.

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