On Holiday 9th Oct – 3rd Nov, may pop in to webcam :)

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Hi everyone, I’m going on yet another holiday. ‘Life of Riley!!’ I hear you shout…well something like that anyway. So I’m off exploring, eating cake and getting up to no good in Vienna and Berlin from the 9th of October and back in London around about the 3rd of November.

I WILL be popping online to check messages fairly regularly and possibly to webcam from time to time…. I have to say I miss it when I don’t see your smiling faces and other things *raises eyebrow* for a while. So stay alert and you may just get to chat with Me, play games, and discuss the quirkier side of fetishes if you are in the right place at the right time.

Wishing you fun in the meantime and if you get the opportunity do all the naughty things. Life is for living after all and at least you will have had a bloody bizarre time and laughed a lot!!

😉 Mz Jane

Relaxation via BDSM

It may seem a paradox to speak about being whipped, tied up, gagged, rendered powerless as a form of relaxation. To have the control of your most basic thoughts and actions taken away from you is probably not most peoples idea of a good time, but this is all about context.

The first most important part of that context is consent! Being pushed to the ground, stepped on and told you will do exactly as you are instructed, might not have much charm on its own merit. UNLESS it’s something you have fantasised about for a long time and you have asked an attractive and trusted person to help you make that fantasy a reality.

Who and where are also key factors, when the perpetrator of your chosen demise is a beautiful mature woman who radiates power and a joy in controlling others. When the setting is a room filled with curiously made furniture and many interesting devices, then anticipation may kick in.

I have to say that the above and many variations have proven to be true over and over again. Being submissive in the dungeon or another play space CAN provide an amazing time out from the stresses and strains of day to day life.
Decision making becomes so much less of a chore when there are no decisions which are yours to make!!

On My side of things I can occasionally arrive at the dungeon with life’s day to day concerns on My mind. Like a magical spell the surround of the dungeon and the readiness of a submissive work their charm and I too can immerse Myself for some time in the pleasures purely of the moment. Enjoying total control over another human and the joyfulness that is PLAY in its kinkiest form, emerging from the experience with a spring in My step and a sparkle in My eyes.

So yes, it’s a spa retreat by any other name! 😉

*Important to note that I will be away on holiday much of October – from the 10th onwards – I know there are those who like to plan sessions well in advance*

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Fun Times in Manchester

So.Much.Fun: from satisfying My fetish for clean white sheets and plush hotel rooms, to the scream of filthy perves biffing each other over and then dishing out a damn hard fucking, oh YES Manchester hit the spot. So much so that I’ve started looking at flights and booking rooms for Folsom in Berlin: The next big date on the international kink calendar.

The opening night auction of kinky goods and services was as usual a chance to dress up and see and be seen, greeting old friends and eyeing the fresh meat 😉 The most popular items in the bidding seemed to be a set of jewelled butt plugs, ranging in size from petite to LARGE.
After socialising, flirting and spending money I fell gratefully into My soft bed to get some rest for the full on assault of the next day. When you know it’s going to be over 24 hours of pervery ahead it pays to grab a little extra rest!

Up bright and early the next morning for a pre-workshop breakfast I have to say that the ‘Canal Street’ area of Manchester is NOT over run with great cafes. I’m sure I’m spoiled by London and other international cities array of eateries but I do love to eat out, considering a leisurely and well served meal on of life’s sensual pleasures.

The workshops: First of all possibly not very kinky sounding I attended the first aid for BDSM’ers class. Safety precautions, bandages and re-suss dummies may sound boring but they are HELL of a interesting when you need them, so it’s always best to brush up on those skills!

Next was one of My favourites of the conference: ‘Pegs and clamps’, an in depth looks at all the joyfully sadistic pain and pleasure that can be extracted using these simple tools and a nefarious mind set. There is always MUCH inspiration to be gained and in this case new ideas of predicament bondage and the removal of clamps were happily taken on board. Such a pleasure to watch a fellow sadist at work.

At this point I decided to skip the last class of the day in order to enjoy a long soak in a hot bath, ably attended to by My houseboy. Bathing is so much more fun when there is some one else there to work up a good lather, pour the water and sponge all of those hard to reach places. Of course occasionally the houseboy does come off the worse for wear after a good dunking and an invasive body search. Just because I’m naked and in the tub doesn’t mean I stop being an Evil Queen.

Were caught up with the friends driving us to the venue and set off for ‘Mars’ as I’ve described in other blog posts this is one very sweet venue. The perfect place for a party, situated some way outside of Manchester it is well worth the journey to experience to notch equipment and a very atmospheric play space.

Of course company in such places is always important and I had hit the jackpot being surrounded by 40 or so SM Dykes. I tied the houseboy to a handy Rack set into the wall and proceeded to give him a good working over with My recently rediscovered boxing gloves, I can’t believe I had set them aside for so long! Combined with a bit of impromptu (and in very high heels) kick boxing I soon had him reduced to a jellyish horny state, craving more invasive procedures. Hot and sweaty with all the exercise I shucked off the gloves and put on a tighter pair of latex ones, reaching for the lube as I watched My houseboys eyes WIDEN. That’s not all that got stretched that night! Happy Times.

Remember that I’m away on holiday the 9th-19th of June! See you after that.

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The relaxation that perversion brings!

 

Travels in Manchester and Vienna

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Very excited to be heading off to Manchester at the end of this week, to see friends old and new at the annual SM Dykes conference. Workshops, parties, pervery galore. I’m sure there will also be time for  impromptu play-dates in the hallways, hotel rooms and anywhere in between.

This is the time beforehand when I find myself scanning my wardrobe wondering which outfits to choose (and how to fit them into the available packing space) and perusing the list of workshops, attempting to plan what I will attend. It’s difficult to choose as with three workshop streams running concurrently, I am spoiled for choice and will have to miss something. Very much have my eye on the ‘School play’ workshop and the one on ‘Handballing’.

So in case this is not enough of a clue – I will be away over the coming bank holiday Weekend – May  23rd until May 27th. Don’t be too sad as Mistress will be sure to report back on Her adventures.

Speaking of adventures I will be heading off to Vienna again in June (9th-19th), I had so much fun last time that I just have to go back! Last time was such a short visit that I didn’t have time to explore thoroughly, although a friend told me there is a local SM Cafe open in Vienna, so this time around I’m determined to visit. Doing some research on the place I found this article – possibly the most awful piece of writing I’ve read in ages – but I won’t let it discourage Me. I’ve also heard there is a fully equip dungeon for hire under the cafe, sounds like a fun place to mingle with the locals, I wonder if I will bump into Conchita?

As they say: travel broadens the mind 😉 Looking forward to seeing some of you in between!

Games for more than two players! (also note that I am away 21st-26th in Vienna)

Lately My mind has been occupied with the fun that can be had in games designed for more than two players. The complex dynamics, unfair odds and thrill of sharing that comes with adding another person to a session.

The intensity of a one to one session is not to be denied but being able to share that connection with other players can increase the bond. Memory has been replaying a particular play date in the Avalon Dungeon in Berlin when I arranged a triple date with My submissive and a leather Dyke Top friend.
Sheer physical power is so much multiplied by bringing (literally) another pair of hands into play, hands that can pin, invade, stroke, muffle and prod a submissive. Hands that can be guided and instructed to do My will while I observe the results of My direction.

On another visit to Berlin I attended an excellent workshop covering the topic of ‘complex play dynamics’ in which the room was asked to split into those who identified as ‘bottoms, switches, tops’ – VERY interesting to see that at this particular gathering switches were the vast majority! In My experience many people are versatile (enjoying both top and bottom roles) but usually one of these roles feels more of a comfortable fit. All I can say is thank goodness for the bottoms and submissives of this world!! As were would I be without them!!

Loads of fun was had in this particular workshop as the exercises had us engaged in the fast paced formation of groups within which we would have to devise a scene, happily accommodating ALL of the players. The challenge was to integrate our preferred power positions and activities in collaboration with each other. The combinations and varieties in group play are endless and it is the differences alongside the similarities that can throw up surprising and intriguing ways of playing to give a new zest  to a scene.

I have recently added a section to My sessions information ‘Double Trouble’ which lists Mistresses and submissive’s who I enjoy double sessions with.

I’m looking forward to exploring these ideas with some of you.

I would also like to mention how enjoyable it is to have positive feedback from those of you engaging via email. Special mention to the person who commented ‘I’m becoming more political these days, and have a particular antipathy for George Osborne.’  🙂

Important information for those wishing to make bookings in the near future: I will be away from the 21st to the 26th of April as I am travelling to Vienna, enjoying some time organising an art project there. See you on My return!!

 

A visit to the House of Commons, decriminalisation of sex work (strange bedfellows)

Those of you who read regularly or have met Me in person will know I tend to take a lively interest in politics and to be vocal about defending human rights. When I heard that ‘The peoples parliament’ were hosting a discussion on the proposed criminalisation of sex-workers clients (adopting The Nordic model) I decided it would be in My interests (and yours) to go along.

The Nordic model exists in countries such as Sweden and is much touted as offering protection to those who work as erotic entrepreneurs by criminalising their clients. However evidence shows that these laws have been sadly lacking in bringing about any improvement in working conditions, safety or a decrease in the stigma experienced by sex workers. In fact the laws have been shown to increase the stigma experienced by those working in the industry and by  extension to decrease their ability to work safely.

Always game for a new adventure I set off to the houses of parliament to be part of the debate.

Firstly let it be said that as a Dominatrix I occupy a rather privileged position as a sex-worker. Talking about My occupation might shock a few people, or occasionally cause a pause and perhaps  titillated giggles at the dinner table but it’s not really HUGE news. A very different situation for example from the women involved in recent police raids of strip venues and working girls flats in Soho recently. So I try to stand up and be counted when I can because to hell with the discriminatory practice of harassing those who are more vulnerable.

The meeting was interesting, that it was set within such imposing surrounds served to remind me of just how entrenched political power can be.

On the one hand I think it’s GREAT that there was some sort of representation in the house of commons, the range of speakers invited was good and gave a broad overview of issues and also of the variety of people willing to fight criminalisation of clients and to work for a complete decriminalisation of sex work in general.

Speakers ranged from some one with personal experience of the Swedish model talking about how it definitely hasn’t improved things, speaker from Germany talking about how decriminalisation has worked there and what problems still exist with corruption, UK based sex worker organisations talking about who they are/what they do/what the direct effects of criminalising clients could be. Odd moments were provided by a representative of the Women’s Institute and an enthusiastic but very out of touch member of the Trade Union Council.

On the down side the event suffered from a particular kind of ‘social worker’ bent of politics, I wished I had of worn my ‘Save us from our saviours’ badge as this doesn’t just apply to the abolitionists, but also those who attempt to speak FOR sex workers and ‘represent’ us. There was a creepy amount of self congratulatory back slapping and jostling for power from some of those present, so much so that I wouldn’t be surprised to see one of the conveners running for local office soon.

As I was leaving parliaments grand halls I noticed the sign ‘Members are reminded that the carrying of lit cigars while walking the halls of is prohibited’, what an image that conjors.

In my view politics is a crock of shit unless it is fully participatory and filters down all the way to the roots of society, which may take a little more effort that just recognising that working in the sex industry does not make one LESS of a person!! Although shifting outrageously outdated laws and preventing any new ones would be a start.

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Unless YOU wish to be criminalised for the terrible offence of coming to visit a Dominatrix then I suggest you sit up and take notice. Adoption of the Nordic model may be used as a political football come election time, because we all know a bit of moral outcry tends to drown out other less convenient issues of welfare, education and housing quite effectively.

 

 

 

 

At the seaside until March 27th

Yes!! It’s spring time and the opportunity is there for Me to nip out of London for a week to enjoy some fresh sea air, peace and quite. It’s one of the funny paradoxes of My life that I am NEVER bored, I certainly don’t lack excitement, adventures or things to do! 

But occasionally when people ask Me ‘So what’s your wildest fantasy?’, I will reply ‘A great book, a room with a view and a good breakfast!’.

Recharging the batteries is everything! The simple pleasure of doing sweet.fuck.all.

So yes I’m away from Monday the 18th of March until the following Monday the 25th, Available for bookings from the 27th onwards.

In the meantime think of Me, I will be dipping My toes in the ocean, eating ice cream and sleeping in late. I look forward to a more exhilarating forms of relaxation in the Dungeon on My return.

See you then 🙂

 

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seriously, men…what the fuck goes on in their brains?

 

the initiation – a subtle approach

I’ve just added a new tab to My ‘Sessions’ page called ‘Softly softly’. This is for those who are shy, curious but perhaps quite intimidated by the idea of entering the world of BDSM.

While it is true that Mistress enjoys all manner of rough, tough and incredibly perverted activities, there is also space in My life for more refined, subtle and intuitively based activities.

As a Mistress of some years of experience take it from Me that the magical essence of a session can often come via the weaving of tingling energy between two people. The hypnotic thrill of what might happen…. rather than the immediate rush and roar of impact on skin or barked commands.

Quiet almost meditative moments of sensuality, enjoying the build up of tension. Slow and gentle explorations that push mental limits. The merest touch of a soft flogger brushing restrained limbs, the glimpse of My smile, the spark between two human beings.

Initiating shy beginners into the world of BDSM is a special kind of pleasure, one which brings out both My protective and slightly predatory side. Training new boys and girls in the arts of serving in the dungeon is something that allows Me the simple enjoyment of showing another the sights, smells, sounds and others senses to be discovered in the dungeon.

Watching  your wide eyed anticipation, placing My hand upon a trembling shoulder to guide, manipulate and extend your eager but so far limited experience of a new world.

Whether that be the sensuality of being tied lightly and teased with various sensations against the skin, of being confined and learning to deal with the fear of surrender or of a gradual thud thud thud of a paddle of hand against a vulnerable bottom. Give in to the pull to find out exactly what your individual fetish would feel like in practice, supervised by an expert in controlling the space in a confident but approachable manner.

Step into My parlour, there is more to discover than the stereotype of ‘whips and chains’.243

strap-on / pegging and the myths of heterosexuality

Wow, it’s February…how on earth did that happen?! Well they say time flies while you are having fun and so far 2014 seems to have whisked by.

Once again life and experiences in the dungeon have Me pondering the MYTHS that surround sexuality…specifically the (weird) notion that enjoying a bit of pegging/anal penetration means you are GAY. Seriously! This IS an idea that is out there!!

Now while I’m (semi) willing believe that some people are genuinely attracted to people of the opposite sex and wish to only do nice vanilla things together (hell it takes all types). I do find it a little SAD that so often feelings of inadequacy and shame are generated by the mythology that this is the WHOLE STORY about what ALL of us should be doing.

How BORING that so much fun should be missed out on by this odd idea of ‘normality’ in addition, to the fact that Inaccurate ideas about what is ‘normal’ are the cause of a lot of hate and pain in the world.

While it is true that a great deal of energy is expended in upholding standard notions of sexuality as the norm (man/woman, vanilla, marriage, family unit, blah blah blah) Did you ever stop to wonder WHY it takes so much time and energy to perpetuate a behaviour that is supposed to be natural?

Funny that isn’t it!?

Let’s take another look at a couple of those common myths surrounding a BROADER notion of sexual enjoyment and exploration.

1. Heterosexual Vanilla sex is the thing that most people do and enjoy.
Hmmm, well I can tell you that from a life time of research this is not true. Entirely other sexual cultures exist: Bisexuality, pansexual, queer, kink, asexual. To name just a few, plus there is no strict delineating line between what is vanilla and what is not. Box ticking as a way to define ones identity is best saved for filling out badly designed forms.

2. Anal sex is something only Gay people do.
Wow! Gay people really get ALL the fun, right? …erm WRONG. While it is fun, it’s not exclusive. EVERYBODY has and asshole! A tender, slightly forbidden place filled with sensitive nerve endings, and the tingling excitement of social taboo.

For those of you interested in a more lofty exploration of the subject of hetero vs homo as a popular myth, author Jonathan Kemp has just published a new book : ‘The Penetrated Male’, an investigation into the ways in which the penetrated male body is represented in literature from 1860-1947, and how masculinity is constructed over and against female penetrability, and how we might reconfigure our representational protocols to challenge such patriarchal assumptions and celebrate the male body as a penetrable body.’

As a card carrying DYKE I do think TOOLS are important and for My strap-on sessions. I’ve spent a LOT of time wearing and weilding a strap-on, so much so as I regard it as a natural part of My own phsicality. I tend to favour Vixskin. Soft on the outside, fleshy feeling, warms to the touch and with a resilient HARD core. I find that most people can take a little MORE when it’s vixskin.

Peruse for your pleasure: vixskin store

Exploration, it’s good for you!!

I’ve said it often but it’s worth saying again that it is My PLEASURE to lead people away from the straight and narrow and off into more delectably deviant and exciting realms. I may have lived a rather unusual and extraordinary life, to the point where the ‘straight world’ looks like some far off place from where I am standing. But I never tire of initiations, naughty roleplays and good old fashioned filthy fun.

I see it as doing a bit of GOOD in the world to be a voice and a very active advocate for breaking out of the rigid notions of how we are and aren’t allowed to enjoy ourselves!!

You know what I think is really kinky? Dear friends of mine have a favourite game they love to play, its called : ‘let’s pretend to be straight vanilla people’ hehe…now I know these two and believe Me that the way they play it that would be be really perverted and dirty!!!

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I hope 2014 is shaping up well for everyone out there, having a whale of a time over here. 🙂

Face-sitting for the win! The heaven and hell of sensual smothering.

What a delight it was to discover face sitting. I can’t say that this exists in the lesbian world (well not the same way) ! Instead I have My submissives in the world of professional Mistressing to thank for introducing Me to this fun activity.

My first experience of this was meeting a long term webcam client for the first time in the flesh. After many hours of worshipping my voluptuous panty clad behind on camera and being very vocal about his appreciation of My assets *boom tish* he very respectfully asked if he would be permitted to meet me in person for a session of face sitting. He is a lovely guy and so I was happy to explore an extended face sitting session with him. He hadn’t seen a Mistress before so I wanted to be sure he understood what exactly I do! So first of all I re-emphasised what facesitting session would involve:

To be totally clear I only do clothed face sitting, this is a form of domination and (mild) breath control. I DO NOT offer any form of intimate sexual contact as a part of this activity. In My world temptation, ultimate unavailability, control, and the entertainment provided for Mistress are quite enough to form a powerful erotic exprience.

Now back to the fun stuff.

As with all activities there is a lot to be said for build up – securing your victim so they can’t move, or just telling them to STAY PUT and then standing looking down at them as they look UP in anticipation and enjoy the view.

Face sitting requires strong thighs! Working out at the gym has been very useful for building up the muscles that allow Me to gradually lower Myself closer and closer to My submissives face, not quite making contact. To halt My self  just above their lips. A very distracting experience I assure you, especially when you are confronted with My intense and piercing gaze.

You may think that all your dreams have come true at once…..but what you aren’t taking into account is how completely at My mercy you are.

When I do sit, you may think you have gone to heaven as the mix of warm erotic proximity and My scent covers your mouth, the silky softness of My thighs about your ears…. but quite soon you will realise it’s not easy to breath with a plush Mistress plonked on your face. What a quandary!!
And as you look up into My eyes this time you will see the amusement your predicament causes Me. There you are trapped between the heaven and hell of ‘What do I want more? Oxygen or this beautiful torture?

I promise to let you up for breath, when it pleases Me…. and to repeat this sweet torture until I am laughing My head off and you are gasping for mercy. Face-sitting, what a lovely combination of  tantalising desire and the sadistic reality of dreams come true.