Wow, it’s February…how on earth did that happen?! Well they say time flies while you are having fun and so far 2014 seems to have whisked by.
Once again life and experiences in the dungeon have Me pondering the MYTHS that surround sexuality…specifically the (weird) notion that enjoying a bit of pegging/anal penetration means you are GAY. Seriously! This IS an idea that is out there!!
Now while I’m (semi) willing believe that some people are genuinely attracted to people of the opposite sex and wish to only do nice vanilla things together (hell it takes all types). I do find it a little SAD that so often feelings of inadequacy and shame are generated by the mythology that this is the WHOLE STORY about what ALL of us should be doing.
How BORING that so much fun should be missed out on by this odd idea of ‘normality’ in addition, to the fact that Inaccurate ideas about what is ‘normal’ are the cause of a lot of hate and pain in the world.
While it is true that a great deal of energy is expended in upholding standard notions of sexuality as the norm (man/woman, vanilla, marriage, family unit, blah blah blah) Did you ever stop to wonder WHY it takes so much time and energy to perpetuate a behaviour that is supposed to be natural?
Funny that isn’t it!?
Let’s take another look at a couple of those common myths surrounding a BROADER notion of sexual enjoyment and exploration.
1. Heterosexual Vanilla sex is the thing that most people do and enjoy.
Hmmm, well I can tell you that from a life time of research this is not true. Entirely other sexual cultures exist: Bisexuality, pansexual, queer, kink, asexual. To name just a few, plus there is no strict delineating line between what is vanilla and what is not. Box ticking as a way to define ones identity is best saved for filling out badly designed forms.
2. Anal sex is something only Gay people do.
Wow! Gay people really get ALL the fun, right? …erm WRONG. While it is fun, it’s not exclusive. EVERYBODY has and asshole! A tender, slightly forbidden place filled with sensitive nerve endings, and the tingling excitement of social taboo.
For those of you interested in a more lofty exploration of the subject of hetero vs homo as a popular myth, author Jonathan Kemp has just published a new book : ‘The Penetrated Male’, an investigation into the ways in which the penetrated male body is represented in literature from 1860-1947, and how masculinity is constructed over and against female penetrability, and how we might reconfigure our representational protocols to challenge such patriarchal assumptions and celebrate the male body as a penetrable body.’
As a card carrying DYKE I do think TOOLS are important and for My strap-on sessions. I’ve spent a LOT of time wearing and weilding a strap-on, so much so as I regard it as a natural part of My own phsicality. I tend to favour Vixskin. Soft on the outside, fleshy feeling, warms to the touch and with a resilient HARD core. I find that most people can take a little MORE when it’s vixskin.
Peruse for your pleasure: vixskin store
Exploration, it’s good for you!!
I’ve said it often but it’s worth saying again that it is My PLEASURE to lead people away from the straight and narrow and off into more delectably deviant and exciting realms. I may have lived a rather unusual and extraordinary life, to the point where the ‘straight world’ looks like some far off place from where I am standing. But I never tire of initiations, naughty roleplays and good old fashioned filthy fun.
I see it as doing a bit of GOOD in the world to be a voice and a very active advocate for breaking out of the rigid notions of how we are and aren’t allowed to enjoy ourselves!!
You know what I think is really kinky? Dear friends of mine have a favourite game they love to play, its called : ‘let’s pretend to be straight vanilla people’ hehe…now I know these two and believe Me that the way they play it that would be be really perverted and dirty!!!
I hope 2014 is shaping up well for everyone out there, having a whale of a time over here. 🙂