Back from holiday!!! Strange scenes in Vienna, it’s good to be home.

I confess, I was away longer than I had originally planned, such things happen especially when having fun. What I had thought was going to be a few days away from the dungeon has stretched into a couple of weeks.

Most of all I just wanted to start out My blog with the words ‘I confess’ ….I LOVE to hear confessions. Just typing the words instantly brought forth a flood of images,a  penitent slave on their knees, tears in their eyes, a blush on their cheeks and the delicious terrible secrets that would then spill forth. There is no better way to please Mistress than by revealing your embarrassing confessions and secrets.

Anyway, time in Vienna was rather interesting. One strange incident featured the compere for one of My stage shows waxing lyrical about their sexual desires, less of a confession more of a loud broadcast. Before we were introduced she was instantly visible as the person holding forth on her views on sex. All fine and good I suppose, but I do like an introduction first before hearing all the intimate details.

What struck Me as very odd about this party political broadcast on the joys of sex is that it WAS a very particular line, because as she regailed us with the wonderful ‘natural animal pleasures of sex’ (I imagined a voice over by David Attenbourough) she also made sure to say how this was ‘unless one is a pervert’. (try to imagine this is said with a look of absolute disgust and horror).

My dear travelling companion Miss Butterfly, was quick to inquire exactly what it was that our sexpert meant by the term ‘pervert’. The reply came that it was perhaps alright at home behind closed doors but she had ‘a friend’ (said in ominous tones) who was A DOMINATRIX (more outrage and scandal) this persons clients had no limits! They asked for awful disgusting things, for example: being locked inside a box for three days!!

Miss Butterfly and I looked at each other, one of those silent exchanges in which MUCH is said, and a silent decision was made to leave our dear ignorant compere very much alone, some arguments are really not worth engaging with. We did giggle a little tho and Miss Butterfly told me of a sexual exploration class she had taught recently where she had the participants list all the various ‘phillia’ they enjoyed (those things listed as perversions in the medical journals) and to discuss what fun they were.

In My books as long as we do no harm to others I can’t see the point in moralism and outrage, tho it makes a darn good role playing game in the dungeon. If by any chance there is someone who wants to be kept in strict confinement for three days as part of a professional session PLEASE DO CONTACT ME!! 😀

Dear Vienna, it was enlightening, very enlightening indeed!! It’s good to be back!!
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Vienna Holiday 25th – 30th June

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Well seeings as London has had such a complete blazer of a summer so far I have decided to do what I did last year and get some sun elsewhere. While Berlin is a favourite destination, this year I have decided to visit friends in Vienna and spend a few days in hopefully MUCH warmer climes.

There are a few added cultural advantages too, I’m planning on catching up with the Bolivian feminist activist group ‘Mujeres Creandos’ and possibly even hearing Audre Lorde speak.

I want to travel light, just head out the door and go and enjoy myself, be in a new city, and enjoy the intellectual stimulation and the freedom. Except I’m having a bit of trouble fitting enough pairs of shoes into my light version of packing!! So far I have two pairs of sneakers, one battered old pair of converse, plus my new ones that are covered in metal studs, one pair of glittery silver high heels, one pair of super high perspex soled stripper heels, a pair of platform leopard print wedges, some sandals, a pair of boots (just in case) and three pairs of mid height mary jane/strict and proper shoes.

At this point in time I’m wondering exactly where to fit my clothes in….a familiar problem I have encountered so many times before!! Ah well let’s hope it really is lovely and warm and i will see you all here on My return!!

Small penis, humiliation, fantasy, role play and ‘The Patriarchy’. *le sigh*

I can feel a RANT coming on. Recently i have noticed a few comments from others that are very judging of other peoples kinks. If there is one rule I have held precious in the kink community it is ‘don’t judge other peoples kinks’! That and the important element that the privacy of the dungeon, or online connections, allows us to explore our fantasies.

So it is with some ire that I have noted some scathing remarks made of late about cross dressing and small penis humiliation, I’ve heard similar assumptions made about ‘enforced bi’ in the past. I’m not sure what sort of righteousness it is that inspires others to comment on worlds they know next to nothing about but while making Me slightly protectively annoyed it has also made me giggle.

Here are those ill informed assumptions: 1. That people into SPH are oppressing themselves and everyone else by enjoying a form of humiiation that focuses on penis size as a measure of manliness. 2. That ‘sissys’ and those who fetishize cross-dressing, and want to be forced to cross-dress of humiliated for it, hate women. 3. that ‘enforced bi’ is homophobic, everyone should be having homosexual sex as a matter of course to prove how queer friendly they are!

Of course what is missing from these assumptions (apart from any intelligence) is the idea of fantasy, fetish, the attraction of taboo and the excitement of sexual exploration. Desire is complex, often we may explore new aspects of ourselves in role play, we may ease into new skins, we may even rid ourselves of fears and demons, SAFE within the boundaries set.

The same people that judge others desires, would of course never dream to look at their own kinks in the same way. In My own life I adore all kinds of edge play, nothing makes me hornier than the idea of holding My houseboy down and raping him, I’m a sadist who most of all loves to get inside My submissives mind and inspire fear and embarrasment. Does any of this translate into a real time desire for violence or to be a complete asshole in the day to day? NO, OF COURSE IT DOESN’T. IT’S ROLEPLAY.

Any kinkster worth their salt understands the distinction between fantasy and reality, play is PLAY. Which doesn’t make it any less exciting, sexy, horny or thrilling, when we face each other breathless in the dungeon.

Plus…I would be rather SAD if there were no tiny penises to laugh at, sissies to encourage, humiliate and put to good use, or those nervous bi-explorers to be forced to suck cock.

Recommended viewing: the Bruce LaBruce film ‘Raspberry Reich’

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the more x-rated version is ‘the revolution is my boyfriend’

Conference! Whoop! Whoop!

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It’s still almost a whole month away but I am excited about the upcoming BDSM conference at the end of the month. I didn’t make it to the Easter Conference in Berlin, being otherwise occupied with house moving, so I have missed catching up with the international queer pervert community very much.

The past few days I have been perusing the list of workshops, thinking about how to choose between the three streams offered at any given time during the day. Taking note of international presenters I haven’t seen in a while and doing a little bit of swearing and cursing about the more obvious clashes.

What I love about all of the various conferences and gatherings during the year is that its a place to relax in the company of like minded perverts. Sharing knowledge and skills is invaluable, I’ve often learned a few tricks, been entertained, and seen hot demonstrations. But what I relish more than anything else is to look about me and know absolutely that I’m in a room filled to bursting with downright filthy kinksters. Happiness.

Community is a very arbitrary term, often misused and one which can sometimes fall short of our expectations. I’m realistic about the nature of this community of Dykes, trans and queers, despite the inevitable personality politics, occasional dyke drama and the diversity of opinions on any given issue present there IS a very strong sense of common purpose and belonging.

So yes! Very much looking forward to spending time on the perve farm!!

online perversion

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I don’t think I have ever seen myself as ‘nerd’ material, I don’t own any horn-rimmed glasses or any cable knit cardigans with interesting leather buttons. I admit I sniggered while writing the words ‘horn-rimmed’ and that My ears pricked up at the mention of ‘leather’ buttons…oh and I’m not sure if everyone is already aware of My addiction to science fiction novels? But that’s as close as the comparison gets, I’m not much of a ‘stay at home’ type.

I’m some one who likes to get out and about. Lately I’ve been exploring the local wild areas as the weather gets warmer and thinking how lovely it might be to enjoy some outdoor humiliation sessions. A slave pinned down firmly in the undergrowth, afraid to cry out in case of attracting attention to their predicament. Myself laughing and applying just a little bit more pressure to tender regions, muffling those cries with My ample panty-clad behind. Stinging nettles aren’t the only things you should watch out for when out rambling.

I digress! What I wanted to talk about was having been without internet for something like TEN DAYS. Hilarious because beforehand I looked forward to this, planned all the things I would get done without being constantly pulled to the computer screen, but I found I missed the connection very much!

It was so much harder to keep up with and enjoy the little exchanges that I have with those who I train online. I missed My webcam sessions and the close connections I have on there, and of course I was unable to express and publish My opinions online!

So I’m glad to be back in the land of the keyboard as it gives Me so many opportunities to let My imagination run riot, and to find those who I will subject to the resulting mental concoctions designed to make your cock hard and your knees weak. What a happy hunting ground the internet is, it’s brought Me so many toys and playthings and now I’m making up for lost time, recording new clips and pictures and uploading them very soon.

That transgender thang

As a Kick Arse Queer Dyke sometimes the cultural gaps between My world and the straight (read heterosexual) world can seem confusing… both for me and the people I meet in My role as a professional Mistress.
To start with the categories and names that gender variant people use to identify themselves in My world differ a lot from most of the terms used in the sex industry. But although the names may differ the people are very much the same.

So in the interests of good communication and a little bit of mind broadening education here are a few musings on the many kinds of transgender expressions present in the world.

In my world of fags, dykes, queers, drag queens, drag kings, butches, high femmes, camp flamers, bears, cubs, sister girls, transwomen, transguys, gender queers, intersex, transmasculine, transfeminine, cross dressing, gender bending, bi-gendered multi flavoured fabulousness….. the main issue is not how or what gender you present yourself as, but in celebrating whatever you feel yourself to be.

Of course the queer world is not perfect! We LGBT people also have our own journeys of learning how to appreciate and respect each other. But most of my life I have lived in close community with people who have changed their gender, or might have a more fluid notion of gender: feeling free for example to present as a burly butch man one minute and the next to be all spangles, high heels and attitude as they strut across the floor as their own special creation.

When I first began working as a professional Mistress I was mystified by the category of ‘Sissy’, especially in terms of enforced feminisation.
In My queer world exploring your gender is a thing to be supported and nurtured, not mocked or forced on anyone. But the longer I observed peoples expressions of desire and the requests they came to me with, the more I began to see how difficult it was for men who are trapped in the narrow confines of ‘heterosexuality’ to fully express themselves.

Very soon ‘sissy’ clients became some of my favourites, not only because there was a similarity to people I know and love in My own community, But because I also have a fetish for a silkily clad body, the glimpse of a satin pantied arse, and the lovely transformation in both energy and dynamic that takes place when dressing a sissy submissive. It’s definitely one of those activities that brings out both My protective and predatory instincts, converting a previously masculine person into their feminine counterpart is guaranteed to have Me be both nurturing and exploitative of that sluttish energy.

It’s my firm belief that if more guys felt more relaxed about cross dressing, wether as a fetish or as an exploration of an aspect of their gender, then the world might be a much happier and healthier place. Sometimes I feel exhausted just watching the amount of work that men put into convincing everyone else how macho/straight/dominant and secure in their masculinity they are. *yawn*
So gender re-education is sort of My little gift to that very stressed sector of society.

In my lifetime I have had relationships with women, men, transwomen, transmen, gender queer people, and refer to myself as a gender queer femme dyke, I like to dress in high heels, I love leather, I often like to be called ‘Sir’. Those of you who are fans of My strap-on videos will be aware that I like to make porn with the lovely transboytom, and that he is a boy who once upon a time was a girl, FTM transgender. A boy with a cunt, yes really. It’s a big wide world out there with all kinds of wonderful people in it, and I’m very happy to be able to help so many of you explore.
note 1: gender is not the same as sex.
It may seem like a new idea to some of you (or not) but a persons gender: wether they name themselves as male, female, or some other kind of gender is NOT dependent on the genitals they have. Some people have surgery or take hormones as part of their transition, some people don’t.

note 2: sexuality is not the same as gender.
Enjoying cross dressing as a fetish does not necessarily mean you are queer!
On the other side of things if you are expressing a yearning to throw caution to the wind, be cross-dressed, tied up and fucked to within an inch of your life, then don’t rule out the possibility that being a bit queer might turn out to be absolutely lovely!

note 3: gender is complex.
Some people transition ‘A to B’: from identifying as one particular gender to it’s ‘opposite’.
Other people move around in their gender expression, they might not identify as any particular gender or they might express a two, three or more different aspects of themselScreen Shot 2013-04-01 at 21.25.32ves through different gender identities.

Bound and gagged…. (or how I escaped macrame hell)

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Some time ago I had the pleasure of attending a local SM Dykes workshop on rope bondage.

Now rope is not one of the things I would put in my top 20, or even top 50 list of ‘kinky things I like to do before dinner’. I have been known to refer to the explosion in popularity of rope groups, workshops, events and photo-shoots as ‘macrame for perverts’, and to regard it with as much interest! So it was a pleasant surprise to find Myself won over in the course of the workshop.

I do love restraints! I’m certainly one of those people who will come at you armed with a baseball bat and a roll of gaffa tape: ‘hold still while I bind you tight or else!’ …and who knows what will happen to you once you are helpless. I also love to strap down My victims to a sturdy leather bench, feeling the strong leather straps in My hands and the bite of leather against skin as I secure My subject, vulnerable and beyond the ability to escape.

But what My problem has been with rope is the kind of over technical and rather nerdish virtuosity I have seen demonstrated in the past. Make no mistake, SKILL is a wonderful thing, its great to see some one who is a real master in their craft. But when I see more attention paid to how a knot is tied, what kind of rope is being used and who is tying; than how HOT a scene is and how much energy is present between the players…. then my heart sinks.

The workshop: An hour and a half of watching and and trying various techniques with rope, and what grabbed my attention was that not only was the presenter extremely proficient with rope but she had a PASSION for her material. She was a rope sadist, her senses alert to how the friction of rope sliding across skin might feel, or how to hold ones submissive helpless while tying, her focus was on producing erotic tension and excitement when playing with rope. She laughed, she pinched her submissives helpless flesh, and she used rope as a tool of her Dominance. Now there’s woman after my own heart. That’s what captured My attention and introduced Me to a new interest.

The art of letter writing

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What a shame stupidity is, by this i do not mean a lack of intellect.

There are many different kinds of intelligence: emotional, academic, gifts in all areas of life. While I enjoy witty conversation, I am not such a snob as to judge people merely on the basis of being able to pass exams, or what books they have read.

I do however have a marked impatience for laziness. When I receive ‘one liner’ emails, or those which demonstrate a complete lack of ability in reading instructions, My immediate response is to kick them to the curb. End of story.

Call Me old fashioned but I do adore a well written letter. Words either on the page or in type which show something of the person writing, some warmth, some sense of an individual human being.

A personal passion is the sending of ‘snail mail’ to dear friends, handwritten letters on PAPER, tucked into envelops, stamped and addressed, sent winging their way to cities near and far.
No matter that this method of communication takes a little longer than a hastily dashed off email or text message, the point is the care and time taken to write.

That one small effort demonstrates so much about real intentions.

Of course I’m not quite at the stamp collecting phase of life, nor do I think I ever will be. That’s more likely to be your job, and they would be the kind of stamps you might collect when lying on the floor underneath my boot.

The point I wish to make is on the importance of focus, being able to pay attention to detail and to follow instructions. To assist your mind in building this picture, imagine if you will a slave sitting alone doing his ‘homework’. Head bowed in concentration, he puts pen to paper constructing a revealing letter: detailing his thoughts, deepest wishes and fears regarding sessions with Mistress, himself laid bare. There you have it, the picture of perfect anticipation and tension.

Imagine if you will that such a slave would be welcomed into session, ordered to kneel and to read his letter aloud.  An activity that would be sure to elicit a smile of My pleasure.

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I have many opinions and if you wish to serve then learn to read and open your ears. I love to write, a link to my older blog posts is here: http://mzjanewild.blogspot.de/?zx=c2579646df9f5711